“I care about you, not him.”

“I care about you, not him.”

It was during my storytelling workshop for Havens Hospices that one of the participants made this comment.

The comment arose after I’d led the group in a discussion about the difference in power and emotion between a ‘first person’ and a ‘third person’ perspective.

To illustrate the point, I’d used my own example of my cancer journey. There were two versions. One version was written about me: ‘he has cancer’; the other version was written by me: ‘I have cancer’.

There’s a heightened emotional engagement when we hear stories told first hand. I showed an example from the brilliant Humans of New York Instagram page. When we hear stories like this one and like mine, told directly, it often provides a deeper level of connection.

It’s not always possible, or practical, to tell a story with an ‘I’ perspective, but when telling stories from within our organisation, it’s good practice to consider which style is best.

So, when one of the participants reflected, ‘I care about you, not him’ - it sums up perfectly where our attention goes. We all want our audience to care about what we’re saying and be engaged with our message. So consider each time: what’s the most effective way to help your message land: first person or third person?

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"Storytelling is at the heart of Havens Hospices. It’s how we inspire supporters to make kind donations which fund our free, specialist care. Without it, the charity wouldn't exist. Ian rekindled that passion through his practical, engaging, and thought-provoking training. It relit something within our Fundraising Team to ensure that we use stories to connect with our community - ethically, sensitively and authentically. Thank you, Ian."

Amy Dearing, Director of Fundraising & Marketing, Havens Hospices